Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2: A Hilariously Unpredictable Medieval Adventure
Every playthrough of Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 is a unique and unforgettable experience, not just because of its brutal realism and unforgiving medieval setting, but also due to the sheer, unexpected absurdity that unfolds constantly. Below are a few of the most ludicrous side quests I encountered while exploring Bohemia. These tales avoid main storyline spoilers, focusing solely on the game's wonderfully unpredictable charm.
Table of Contents:
- Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
- Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
- Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
- Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
- Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
- Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out
Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
The charming town of Želejov, boasting a bathhouse, fighting arena, and tavern, is home to two incredibly lazy troubadours dreaming of Bohemian musical domination. Their problem? They lack funds, an instrument, and any semblance of artistic direction.
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Henry, ever the helpful protagonist, undertakes a series of increasingly bizarre tasks to aid their musical aspirations. This involves lute theft (risking arrest and reputational damage), procuring sheep gut strings, and even hauling sacks to pay off their tavern debt. Finally, with instrument, freedom, and inspiration secured, their "reward" is a soul-crushingly dull song about Henry's mundane chores. The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and I laugh uncontrollably.
Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
Remember those musical strings? They require crafting by a hunter, Vojtěch, who, unfortunately, is a drunkard who's fallen foul of a wolf pack and a tree. The intended rescue involves carrying him back to camp, saving his horse, and helping him sober up. He'd then become a loyal ally. But what if you deliver him directly to the tavern instead?
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I did just that, hauling Vojtěch through forests and swamps. His reaction? Unmitigated fury. He refused further assistance, limping off with a grumble. Our next encounter? He offered me the finest view behind his shack as compensation.
Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
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The Polovtsians are the villains responsible for Henry's family's tragedy. Finding them causing trouble in a tavern, I prepared for vengeance. Instead, I found friendly fellows. Soon, I was matchmaking, drinking, and singing bizarre songs with them. Then, a talking dog began a philosophical lecture, prompting a lake-swimming dare (the "Don't Drown!" quest). I survived, amidst much laughter.
Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
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After mastering stealth, a single botched heist turned me into Bohemia's Public Enemy Number One. A passerby noticed my escape from a guard barracks. The next morning, a guard confronted me. I talked my way out of it, only realizing too late I hadn't removed incriminating accessories or washed the stench off my clothes. The detail is astonishing.
Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
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I stole a horse and tried to sell it to Mikolaj, the gypsy horse trader. He was asleep. The horse bolted. I waited until dawn. Mikolaj spent ten minutes eating porridge before I finally made the sale. Even minor escapades become hilarious misadventures.
Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out
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These are just a few examples of what makes Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 so special. Every decision, however small, has surprising consequences. Its realism and immersive world make every playthrough unique, a must for open-world RPG fans. Bohemia awaits!
